Prompt: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

i normally do not look at prompts until i’ve opened up a new blog post and copy/paste it over from the email. i want to react in the moment and not sit around thinking about it too long. this is why half these prompts wind up being annoying (probably) because my initial reaction is something like, gee, this same theme again for the fifteenth time in a month? whoopee. and then i just carp about it, publish, and log out.

that’s pretty much how i feel at this moment, though i caught a glimpse of the prompt off of this chick’s blog who handles these things with a touch more grace than i do.

look, i’ve read a ton of self-help books. so many, in fact, i’m quite positive i could write one blindfolded, hands tied behind my back, with only the tip of my tongue plunking out letters off the keyboard with some chant music playing in the background and it would probably be an oprah special. so i can appreciate this writing prompt, but this is the kind of “work” that requires a lot more time and thinking and energy. also, depending on what you want to achieve, it may not be appropriate in a public blog. i dunno. i’m not into it. i’m not willing to share my toys on this one, reverb!

in more employment news, i got a call from the lady prez (that’s what i enjoy calling her to friends and family because quite frankly i would like to see more lady presidents in the world-at-large, not just corporate). uh, i did not pick up the phone on account that i was deep in much needed sleep. i rolled around all night until i believe i finally fell asleep exhausted around 6 a.m. SO BAD, yes.  i got up at noon, so at least i don’t feel guilty for sleeping til 5 p.m. or something. anyway, she called around 11:45 and told me she’d be out the rest of the day, but just wanted to pass along some information. my offer letter was being prepared by someone in HR, who would also be running my background check and calling some references, and would include benefits info and some more documentation to look over about the background check. this is a bank, afterall. she sprinkled my name throughout this (roughly) two-minute voicemail and each time i heard it, i jolted slightly in my seat like a teacher calling on me unexpectedly. so she says something like, “ERIN, just two things, ERIN: 1) i would really love to work with you and have you here, i think you’d be a great fit with our group and you’re spectacular [maybe not “spectacular” – who says that? – but something like that]. 2) the offer letter is pretty basic – i added a little bit to your last salary, but as far as vacation, ERIN, i did add a little more than is normal here for a new hire and that’s because of your years of service.” and then she just reminded me, ERIN, again to give her a call in the next day or so after i’ve had time to review and she’s willing to meet in her office again or over the phone – whichever i prefer – and also i can start when i’m ready. i mean, WTF, right?!?! am i dreaming?? is something bad going to happen to me?? because i’ve never in my life had this kind of job interview/offer experience. first off, i was just hoping and praying to get my old salary and then i planned to counter and then whatever they came back with, i’d immediately jump on. this is how i’ve done it. i believe in it. i do it. it works. they expect the counter. so now, to be told i’m already starting at something a little more than i used to make…in PORTLAND…in the PORTLAND ECONOMY…that’s crazy.  and then beeeyyyyoooond my shock over that, she slaps me in the face with more vacation than they normally offer?? where am i? please don’t wake me up EVER.

i haven’t yet received the offer (it’s supposed to show up in my email, not snail mail), but i am ever so anxious to see what a “little bit” on the salary is. i mean, to her, what is a “little bit”?? i know what it is to me. my mom’s thinking bigger. i have no idea. but…the question now is…do i still counter? i have been asking various people this question and i’m getting interesting responses. my mom says just wait and see what the first offer is and if it’s what SHE thinks it is (which is what i really hoped for beyond my old salary), then i can simply say “this is what i had hoped for and had thought about asking for in the event that your offer was lower, so i gladly accept” and be done with it.  a friend told me to wait to see the salary and if it was what i wanted and feel truly comfortable with, end it there. from my point of view – at the risk of sounding greedy, even though that’s NOT my bent – what i have learned very early on in my work life is where you start salary-wise with a company, sets the tone for your career with that company and very possibly affects what your employer thinks and sees in your potential (maybe more subconsciously than consciously). i grew up with a father who, as i see it now as an adult – and this is hard to admit, did not value himself. i don’t know who broke him – maybe his mother, maybe his father, maybe an employer early on – but my dad took what he could get and never asked for more with the exception of his last job where he found out someone else in his department was starting at the same salary that took him ten years to reach and my dad had a law degree and this person had a bachelor’s. so he confronted his boss and threatened to quit! that’s a little extreme, but he got a huge raise out of it plus a bonus for his years of service and i think he finally felt proud of himself.

i can remember when i was temping for a very large accounting firm downtown and it was supposed to be strictly a temporary position covering another admin who was on medical leave for a month. they did have another opening in the tax department and had been doing some interviewing (i wasn’t even aware of this), but they decided to hire me on for that position and it was a lucky break for me – in fact, the first job where i feel like that set me up for several other great positions.  they called me into an office and handed me my offer letter. i looked it over for a minute and handed it back, asking for several thousand more. my supervisor asked me why i thought i merited a higher salary and pointed out that that was a fair offer. i gave my reasons and they said they’d take it back to HR and think about it and let me know the next day. at the time, i was 25 and living with parents after a first attempt at apartment living on my own. i came home and told my parents how it all went. my dad went ballistic! he told me i was an idiot and probably lost the job to someone else. my mom, of course, hoped for the best! she’s always been good that way. the next day, they came back with an extra thousand on my offer. eat it, dad! he still thought it was way too risky. a thousand dollars isn’t a lot to some, but at that time (and even still) that counter proved to me that employers will consider your needs if you’re willing to voice them. ever since then, i’ve always asked for a bit more and every time they come back with at least something. i dunno…i guess i view it as a self-respect thing. i think it shows some moxie and that you’ve really thought about what you want and you don’t just jump immediately.

also, i’m thinking from the tone of the lady prez’s voicemail and her reiteration of how great it would be to work with me and all her flexibility about start dates and discussing things further…i just get the feeling that she’s willing to negotiate and wouldn’t be offended or anything. in my line of work as an executive assistant, these kinds of positions are really really hard to come by. and the pay can vary so greatly. my god, just looking on craigslist (which, admittedly, is NOT the way to find work, by the way but is highly amusing nonetheless) shows how little some employers value their administrative personnel.

anyway, i have a lot to consider and there are a TON of great things about this company that have nothing to do with money – things that i’m very drawn to. first and foremost, i think this woman is incredible and would be a joy to work with and for and that’s pretty damn exciting. and i’m nothing short of so so SO grateful for the timing of all this. i feel like getting cut from my old office was a major blessing – not even in disguise.  i will know more tomorrow…